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Monday, July 26, 2010

Hormonal Havoc !!

Was watching this episode of Private Practice, where a new mom ends up giving some sleeping meds  to her little kid so that she herself can get some sleep.  She was so tired and sleep deprived, that she had lost her ability to think. The child gets a little serious and she brings it to the docs. But they soon realise that the child is ok but its the mom who needs some psychiatric help.

Often when we hear of such incidents we think if I had a baby I would never do such a thing. But seriously are moms to be blamed for such a behaviour? The minute a woman gets pregnant the hormones start playing around. She gets worried, she is nervous, sometimes angry, sometimes depressed. And if she is lucky to have an educated family then her mental health will be taken care of, if not, then God save her. Especially in Indian homes where as soon as the woman of the house gets pregnant for the first time then it is no less than a festival. The family is more concerned about what colour the baby would be born and what products should the expectant mother eat to make the child healthy. But no one really cares for the anxiety that she is going through. Even our medical system is so absurd. It is only the Gynaec who is around. No one refers the expectant mom to a psychologist or counselor, so that she can be prepared mentally for her motherhood. She is just expected out of the blue to be a good mother, a patient one; why .. well because our mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers they all did it .. didnt they? And then after the nine months of turmoil comes the little bundle of joy. Joy for everyone in the family. Everyone is around.. but hold.. for how long? They are all gone in max 3 months and then it is the mother and the baby. No sleep at nights because the little angel has to be fed. Mornings a woman of the house is not supposed to sleep. It is such a taboo. She has to cook and take care of the house. Be a good wife a good daughter - in - law. And mind you daytime the child is also demanding attention. And you dare to complain to someone of you being tired zapak comes the answer.. " we have also given birth to kids there is nothing new that you are undergoing" and if you are married to a mom's pet you will probably get this answer.. my mom did it so what is your problem?

How easily the family forgets that this woman has gone through a series of hormonal change in the past one year and it will probably remain like that for another few months. She needs some mental peace. Some time to relax and sleep. Who is the victim then? The child ofcourse. These are situations when these new moms loose control. After doing all this, people lecturing her on how to take care of her child is irritating. In my opinion all the gynaec departments should have compulsory parental classes which should and must include taking care of the new moms. And these sessions should start right on the day the pregnancy is detected. Hormonal Havoc should be a shared responsibility of the entire family!!!


  1. agree on the hormonal thing.
    in my case i think what used to frustrate me was no one (read Sathya) even cared to try & understand the situation. and women are really mean. those who've already been mothers shouldn't at least they empathize with a new mother? no. they wont. they want to avenge their own trauma by trivializing your need for sleep & rest. i have felt to give my baby cough syrups or anything that will put her to sleep so she can stop crying/yelling through the night & let me sleep

  2. absolutely agree with you on that... yaar women wont understand women i dont know how really that is happening.. everyone just thinks paida kar diya na .. now a mother need not be taken care of .. pregnant hoti hai to usko dudh do badam do because baby is going to come na.. nonsense seriously


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