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Monday, July 4, 2011

Your Son today - My Husband Forever !!

Pampered Son today  -- Frustrated  Husband Tomm !!

This week I saw my plans for a romantic weekend go down the drains.  Was down with some stomach infection, and so all the plans of a grand cooking and good movie was replaced by lying down on the couch and wailing :( :( and facebooking ofcourse!!  But thanks to my darling husband I did have my moments of silver lining :) :).

Lying on that couch I watched him making rice stew for me and some warm decoction of tea leaves and some herbs.  (He made kheema rice for himself, which was not fair ) Admist doing some official work, I saw him making phone calls to his mom asking for home remedies for my infection.

Watching all this I felt totally blessed to be a part of this generation, where a mother-in-law was giving some tips to her son to make some meds for her daughter-in-law.  And not only in this particular incident but I have always seen my husband very trained when it comes to managing things whether in relationships or at his work.  And I think I have to entirely thank his mother (or all his past girlfriends) for giving me a close to perfect husband ;).  Personally I don't think there is anything called Perfect :)

"Honey, how can you not be interested in cooking and cleaning.  No matter how much you study and become successful professionally, end of the day it is you who have to take care of the kitchen and the house.  You have to be someone's wife and that is a big responsibility"  Growing up years I can bet most of the girls are used to these sentences, perhaps they are just phrased differently.  I am not a feminist, so I agree to the above statements in whatever manner they are said.  But my concern is that just as girls are trained to be good wives and good daughter-in-laws, why aren't the boys trained to be good husbands or son-in-laws ??  Its absolutely fine to train and teach your daughters to be good wives, but helloooo knock knock...what about the sons ??

I have never in my entire life heard a mother or father tell their son, "Son you need to learn to cook because your wife may need help someday.  Son you need to sit around the table when we are discussing family problems because one day you will have to sit and do the same with your wife and kids.  Sunny boy you need to be more expressive and tell your parents that you love them, because you will have to say that your wife's parents someday".  I mean I have never seen parents preparing their sons to be husbands.  And the result is...a husband who brings hotel food when his wife is ill, an unclean house or every time the wife is emotional and needs a patient ear, you will have a husband who just rubbishes it thinking  "Oh, its that time of the month for her".  

Having said that, I do know men who haven't had the "training" from their parents but have been good husbands to their wives, purely because of their love and compassion for their partners :) :) and kudos to them, because being flexible and easy to change in our society is supposed to be a womanly nature, and you men just broke the rules.  Lovely (clap, clap, clap).  Girls if you have a husband like that, treasure him, he is a rare collectible item (Russell Peters).  Because this world is still filled with women who treat and bring up their sons like they were some rare and extinct species and they in turn grow up to be charming boyfriends (remember they have used their charm to get that extra love from moms) and useless husbands :D :D

Please don't feel offended by what I am saying, but with all due respect to parents, writers of parenting skills, and all moms and dads with that ocean filled love for your sons....for heavens sake treat your sons like normal.  Explain to them how much little gestures of love mean.  Introduce them to that part of the house which is called "The Kitchen".  Tell them there are other rooms in the house than the bathroom and bedroom (which they never clean themselves).  Let them know there are machines other than the play station, like the vacuum cleaner, the washing machine etc.,  Most importantly let them know the most important quality of the "rubber"....Flexibility...the other functions of it they will learn on their own ;).  Treat them in equality with girls. Your sons hands will not disappear in the sink if he does some dishes, they are as strong as your daughters !!!

So all the dear parents out there, do the world a huge favor, kick your son if he refuses to do his bed, clean the toilet, pick up his plate, because I can assure you one thing, all the daughters are being taught kung-fu karate and also how to use the pepper spray, so please save your son !! The British Poet and Critic, John Dryden once said "The sooner you treat your son as a man, the sooner he will be one".  


  1. lol that was a good read, long time since I read someone else's blog post and that too a long one. I can't comment much about parenting. But in the few times I've tried my hand at cooking it came out horribly bad. So to avoid poisoning someone I stopped my experimentation :D

  2. :) :) having said that, the world has its best chefs in the form of men :) :)..and thx for reading :) :)

  3. nyc read sunita, quite true, but things r getting better. this gen is certainly far-far sensitive than previous. liked d pic, apt :)

  4. thx for visiting & joining my page Balbinder. yes i agree this gen is certainly better :):)

  5. I agree with you, let the parents 'bring up' both sons and daughters, not just the daughters as it is done presently :)

  6. hey shail thx for visiting & also writing in :) :)

  7. I so agree with you on an early life training which comes handy in adult life. Everyone should learn life skills and cooking basic stuff is one on the life skills...Nice to read your post.

    Liked you post on reporting the bombay attack and i find Barkha Dutt clown like too , more so recently.

  8. thank u sangeeta...glad u visited hope to see you again :) :)

  9. I have taken care to teach my son to respect women and show them little gesture of love.. he has started of with my daughter and extended his good side to impress many people around him. You are right.. people should treat their sons like normal human beings and so should they do with their daughters.

  10. Hey! Lovely post!! I totally agree with everything you have said and the last line sums it up brilliantly.Moms need to understand that their sons have to be husbands and fathers someday.Its rightly said that "A man who treats his woman like a princess is proof that he has been born and raised in the arms of a QUEEN."


    My world,my thoughts,my musings...

  11. @ Faridaji..thank you very much.. moms like you are an example :) :)
    @ Upasana: thx dear.. I loved those lines.. so right :) :)

  12. felt you were writing about my MIL. wish she could read this!

    its true Sunita, a mother is the deciding factor. and the way you have expressed the nuances in the upbringing & the social/mental conditioning of a boy & a girl is brilliant. this was one reason why i wanted my 1st child to be a boy - i wanted to raise him differently. well....

  13. Excellent post.. definitely award winning.. i hope Indian mothers change their mindset on raising their sons soon!

  14. @ SuJu: :) well u can teach ur daughter Karate so she can repair some mental bawys :D :D
    @ Ranii: Thank u :) .. we can only hope for a change

  15. Well written post and totally agree with your views..

    Thanks to my MBA at Hult, I know a lot about cooking now :))

  16. @rationalise
    Gurpreet welcome to SuKupedia :) :) Hult MBA sure taught all of us a lot :D :D :D.. but I am glad u r cooking :) :)

  17. First time on your blpg and loved your humorous way of stating the undeniable truth!!

  18. @Sara Welcome to SuKupedia Sara :) glad u liked it :)

  19. Bitter truth told in humorous way.

    Luckily, I learned cooking, cleaning etc from my parents (not just mom, even from dad). And I was literally told what your wrote in blog "Son you need to learn to cook because your wife may need help someday.".

    Now, my wife treasures me like a rare collectible item :-).

  20. @Murty herez a special hug to your parents from me..xxxx

  21. I think there is a hint of domestic violence against men,....by that logic will it be ok to teach the son to bitch slap a wife who refuses to cook? :P
    I guess it will hurt...so let us not make violence cute or funny


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