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Friday, December 2, 2011

Humari Bahu Alka :D :D

Reached India (Pune) after a long travel of almost 22 hrs and boy am I tired or what !!!.  Slept through the day yesterday and even today till noon.. now admist unpacking and phone calls and reading blogs, very strongly felt like writing about a conversation during my travel.  I have always always (make that X100) loved travel.  Even packing up and going to grandparents' place is super fun for me.  No not the stay, I mean the real travel, the whole excitement about booking the tickets, and then shopping for gifts and packing..and ofcourse having snacks in train.. its just the best thing :) :) and also you can find husbands for yourselves in the train :P :P :P.. aarey seriously...

Ok so coming back to my recent travel back home.. I landed in Mumbai early morning, came out of the airport and saw the shuttle guy, showed him my identification and was waiting for the other passengers to arrive.  Airport shuttle service is very common here and why not,  they are damn cheap and you can travel in company.  So as I waited, a couple joined me.  They were also waiting for the same shuttle.  They were newly married.  The girl had traces of mehendi and the red traditional bangles and they came back from Mauritius.  How did I know.. well she had a big shopping bag which said Mauritius :D :D :D.  This was a very interesting couple and I am writing down their conversation here.. which was loud and clear btw :) :)

She:  God kitni garmi hai na ( it is so warm)
He:   Ya that too early in the morning
She:  This is India (sigh) Mauritius was so nice na (i told u they came back from Mauritius :D :D)
He:   Ha waha ki government achi hai na. ( no seriously, the govt has the power to decide the weather O_O)

All this drama in front of me who had just arrived from Stockholm, and desperately enjoying the cool mumbaiya breeze under this tree :) :)

She:  Woh lal rang ka paper kaha hai jo maine tumhe diya tha (where is that piece of red paper that I gave u)
He:   I don't have it, thought it was with you
She:   No look for it in your wallet
He:   After searching.. ya its here..
She:  God you are so unorganized
He:   No sorry but I did not remember that you gave it to me
She:   You know during our marriage the feedback I got about your family was that you guys are very unorganised
He:   Really ?? Why do you say so??
She:  Look at your parents they keep things here and there.  Your bhabhi forgets her things all the while.  The house is so messy
He:  Parents are old ya and bhabhi is a mom of 2 little kids so she misses a few things behind them.
She:  What the hell we are just back from our honeymoon and you are defending your family already !!
He:   No Jaanu (mark that Jaanu ok) its not like that... on a serious note I would really like to be organised like you...
She:  Now we are in India so control ur English & come back to Hindi
He:    Sorry, Sorry !!! (this he said in English :D :D)

I almost wanted to shout and tell him I am not deaf ask your organised wife to keep it low.. you LOOSER
Then the dreaded thing as we moved to parking area where the cabs were parked, I found out that they were travelling with me to Pune in the SAME CAB !!  It all started again after my MIL called me to find out if I had taken the cab...

She:  See that reminds me nobody from your family called us.
He:   They must be sleeping
She:   Aarey our flight was 3 hrs late no, shouldn't they be worried. And anyways I have seen that you are the one who calls up home, your people never bother to call up.
He:   Its been like that always, I do call them, but I don't think there is anything wrong in that
She:   Did I not scold my mom when she called up after 2 days.. you should also do the same only then they will learn
He:    Lets see
She:   No seriously I do not want you to call them until they call you.
He smiles and she is irritated
She:  See I knew you wouldn't listen to me, I know you will call them
And then she does this act which I usually did when I was 5 and my dad did not listen to me.. turning away the face
He:  Aarey no Jaanu don't be like this.. see I will do as you say I will surely not call them ok.. but you don't get angry...

I was unconsious for sometime after that :D :D then what I heard was this

She:  But I really think your bhabhi is jealous of me
He:   Kyu, I thought she was friendly with you
She:  Ya ya all that is show off only
He:   Really
She:   Aur kya..she is jealous because I am smarter than her
He:    She shouldn't be.. because she also finished her studies from a reputed engineering college and she was working in a very good company.
She:   Aarey no.. Smarter means.. I wear Jeans, sleevless and all no.. and now we even went for our honeymoon to Mauritius no.. that's why...

This is exactly the point where I wanted to commit suicide.. since when did wearing Jeans and flying to Mauritius become identification mark for being smart O_O

Now my turn:

Our driver talks to some one on the mobile phone.  After he finishes his call

Me:  Please don't talk on the mobile while you are driving.

He looks at me scornfully.  The fact that I was sitting next to him he could have easily thrown me out of the running cab...

Again his phone rang and he picked it up... this time I was very angry...

Me:   Which language do you understand?? Hindi or Marathi...
He:    Both... Why?
Me:   Alright then listen, next time you dare to pick up your mobile, I will get off the cab and you will refund my money.. right here ..
He:    Aarey madam our work is all on phone only
Me:   No probs..you can stop the cab and then talk..

After 5 minutes he decided to get revengeful and as I went into a deep slumber.. he woke me up and said..

He:  Madam first wear your seat belt it is a rule here
Me:  Oh ok sorry (and I buckled up which I hate btw)
He:  And also when you are seated in the front seat you cannot sleep..
Me:   Alright !!! (I cannot express my situation in words :/ )

Just then our Madam 'SHE' decided to pitch in

She:  Aarey there is no rule of seat belt like that
Me:  Do you drive here??
She:  No
Me:  Well then actually he is right..

And then there was silence for the entire trip....


  1. :| Ekdam sahi kia! The poor guy has married the woman not any man will ever like to marry...EVER!!

    Sigh....WTF!! WTF :| Itta gussa aa raha hai mujhe...

    On the other hand, am happy Saurabh doesn't call me Janu...SRK ki flop movie hai kya :-?

    By god, what is wrong with women? Cut-sleeves make them smart? Then Protima Bedi must be the most intelligent woman I know.



    :D Mauritius :D

  3. Uff, dukhatee rag pe haath rakh diya ;). I am sure every married man gonna like this LOL. And next thing I am going to do is to make my wife read this. But wait, should I? No, I will not, I don't want to commit suicide;)
    Story in pieces

  4. Smiled through the entire 'conversation'!As they say-Chaar din ki chaandni ke baad dhoop ki shuruaat ho gayi:)

  5. Amazing Post. Was ROFLing completely throughout. Nice work :)

  6. Such women exists. I have encountered a few such ladies. My goodness they are so weird. Nice post and I was laughing till the end. You cabbie guy was smart ahhh!

  7. Wow! What a women and poor man.. Really a great post!:-)
    Find your link at Twitter from TheBuntBlogger
    Regards from Norway

  8. Came across your blog through Chintan.

    Nice blog, in the whole conversation, the smart thing was very funny...:).

  9. Oh my! This lady is soo irritating! Her husband is screwed up his life! Honeymoon se aate hi itna gussa and complaints then the remainder of his life he is going to come home to a sulky "smart" wife.. She's newly married and she is talking such ghar todhne waali baate.. She sounds uneducated and more than that her husband is dumb..

    The last reply was mooh todh jawaab ! Smart one :)

  10. Sleeveless and jeans makes people smart!! rofl! Actually I have heard these kind of talks.. its really narrow minded and stupid :P The guy has married a life long aafat :P

  11. Very witty post on a very interesting conversation; although you can call it in a way 'ghar ghar ki kahaani'. It is this way or tilted the other way, but if the scales are equal, it rarely survives. After reading this, one cannot but agree with Hamlet when he tells Ophelia:

    Or, if thou wilt needs
    marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough
    what monsters you make of them.

    There is only one word for this man: BESOTTED.

  12. On a serious note, that girl/lady/auntyji needs a reality check. These are the kinds who keep making unnecessary demands from husbands all day and night while sitting at home, and watching T.V...The kinds who tell their husbands, to choose between their mothers and them.....Am i being stereotypical?
    Anyways, i loved the post... and happy travelling :)
    and did you find your husband while you were travelling? really? i wanna hear the story.

  13. hey ram! hey bhagwan! hey eshwar! hey esu! hey prabhu! hey deva! aap mein se kisne isko banaya? this woman toh heights rey!

    i could so see this mauritius returned sleeveless memsahib looking down at the rest of the full sleeves indians as unpad gawaars.

    dear god why did you punish the man this way? for what crime? which janam ka badla? & the poor guy doesnt even know what has hit him!!! at least not yet. :D

  14. My mind fails to register women like these still exist s ;) I simply adore your humor and style of narration :) I hope God never graces you with the company of a couple like this ever again :D

  15. @ Bluntu: hehehe ha hum logo ko kuch seekhna chahiye iss madam se...sleevless pehno aur smart ho jao :D :D

    @ Animesh: Every married man does not have a wife like this :P :P & u better ask ur wife to read I am sure she will agree :D :D

    @ Sharmila: not just dhoop.. it was kadkti doop :P :P

    @ Chetan: glad u liked it :)

  16. @ Ashwini: u bet they do :)..nd the cab guy yeah very smart :D

    @ Spiderdama & Prashanth: welcome to SuKupedia :) I am glad u liked it :) :) @ The Blunt Blogger is too kind :) am thankful ...

    @ Maithili: u r right dear.. the sulky 'smart' wife :) :)

    @ M in love: he doesn't even know what he has gotten into :D :D

  17. @ Syed Ali: vow that comment .. i loved the way u wrote it.. yes.. besotted it is :D :D

    @ Tangerine: no i agree with you there are women like this :).. and yes i did find my man in the train.. sorry i did not link the story.. i have done it now.. :) :)

    @ SuJu: yes atleast not yet hahahaha

    @ Serendipity: thx :).. on a second thought we should meet such people they make interesting characters :D :D

  18. pity the poor chappie...

    lovely narration!

  19. A hilarious journey for readers as well.

  20. Ha ha ha..Free mein entertainment ho gaya Suku :) You should be thanking them for making another of your travel so memorable :p

  21. @ magic eye: thx..& make that pity double O_O

    @ Neeraj: glad u liked it :)

    @ Pooja: tum bahut optimistic ho :D :D :D

  22. I wont marry for sure...the way my luck is I am deemed to end up with such a gal... :P

  23. You know I had her replicas all over me in Boston. They feel coming to US is an achievement. Anyways, kitna mazaa aaya hoga na. Live comdey...lol

  24. Haan a joke from a girl like her in US.

    Dunkin Donuts pe donuts milte hai kya???

  25. @ Skywalker: heheeh..ya u might..but one thing i know u wont be like that guy :D :D

    @ Saru: hahaha.. nahi nahi Dunkin Donuts mein jalebi milti hai :D :D :D

  26. I am a married man and feel there is slightly (read: too much) exaggerated story of how women behave. I know, they are designed to annoy people; but this is too too over the board.

    I have lived in multiple cities across India and abroad and have never (read aloud: NEVER) met this type of cynical women.

    Having said that, from point of view of fictional liberty; this was a funny read!! :)

  27. hahaaa.....what a write up.....
    you know i m laughing after a long gap...thnx a lot for making me laugh.....:D

    enjoyed the read....may God bless that poor guy in his upcoming life...:))

  28. Hahahaha.... although i was lucky to hear this story from the horses mouth ... but u have left no stone unturned to narrate it as vividly as u described it to me .....kudos Jaanu :D!!

  29. World is full of duh people. Nothing against the gender, there are equally stupid men as well. Wonder when will they make it legal to kill such people. ;-D

  30. @ Bhupesh: I really feel sorry for you friend... i hope u meet many more interesting people in ur life :D :D :D.. this is not a fiction.. it is a real story.. Geeta aur Sita ki kasam :D :D

    @ Irfan: I am so glad u enjoyed the story :) :) :)

    @ Ritz: thank God u mentioned that.. someone here thought it was a fictional write up.. :) :).. and did u say Jaanu..uuurrgghhh

    @ Mayank: i agree :) :).. u know what i enjoy doing illegal things :P :P :P

  31. Hehehe..very eventful ride u've had..:)

  32. Omg!!
    That guy must have all the patience in the world!

    I loved your blog! And this post was hilarious! :D

  33. @SuKupedia :) :)

    Well, I have met many interesting people in life; however, this seems too over the top and comments are too unrealistic.

    Anyways, if you swear on Gita and Sita; then I should believe you!! :)

  34. @ Ana: u bet it was :)

    @ Happy go lucky: thx.. sure he did :)

    @ Bhupesh: thank God u believe me.. What would I have done otherwise O_O

  35. @Sunita: I'll take that as a compliment ;)

  36. Wow!!!!I must salute you for being there and record each and every flyspecks so carefully...thank you for sharing it with us..

  37. i got here via chinatn's blog. needless to say, loved the piece. FOLLOWING now :) these females i tell you ;) flying to mauritius is the certificate of being smart.LOL

  38. omigod, the poor guy, I feel so sorry for him!!! urs was just one journey, uski to puri zindagi hain!!!

    Hey great to know, your in Pune!!!!! Me also the same city!!

  39. Poor guy, just back frm honeymoon n he sees her real colors I guess.. I am sure you wud hv thoroughly enjoyed the conversations.. Even I hv encountered some situations like that where some dumb women are so loud to be noticed but instead proves that they r dumb..:p Good post loved it!!

  40. LOL so you taught her who is actually SMART :D ROFL

  41. @ Skywalker : ofcourse it is :) :)

    @ Hemant: told ya they were loud & clear..though i have missed some of their cuchicoos :D :D :D

    @ Maniac hunter: Welcome to SuKupedia :) u have men too who hold marlboro and show off dollars :D :D :D

    @ Jenny: ha yaar imagine that :D :D.. u r in pune.. where exactly ??

    @ Deepsi: i have a feeling that guy is just dumb to realise what he has gotten into..

    @ Anita: well if you say so :D :D

  42. Very Nice reply from you to shut her mouth :)
    I am sure she (smart girl) will make him(poor guy) not to stay with his family with such acts. And i am thankful I am with girl who wants to stay with my parents :)

  43. I eork in hinjewadi, and stay at warje. what about you?

  44. whoaaaa...some journeys can be more fun upon reflection that acually experiencing them!

    what an amazing conversation and won't brand the woman as obnoxious kyonki bahut se joint families actually go through a lot of that mess-trust me when i say so-first hand experience...

    so meagre is their horizon that a foreign country ka trip or western dresses become synonymous with being hipper...

    though this was total fun to read:-)

  45. 10 years later - I am already imagining the couple and their conversation. She fat, nasty...he fatter, nastier!

    And that girl deserves two tight slaps.

  46. @sukupedia : Came through chintan's blog. Loved this post. Women like that are pretty common these days, neither they have the domestic chops of pure indian gharelu women nor the mental stability & strength of character of a liberated, educated woman. That guy is screwed but main bach gaya.

  47. There's only one word for such women 'bindok'! And i know a few such couples.. And yes, there r many in Our country who think that wearing 'western' makes them modern/smart!!

  48. wah kya baat hai. Mauritius returned walon ki aisi ki taisi!! couldnt stop laughing after reading it through.

  49. @ Chaitanya: yup yup.. the point is she was forcing him to bend to his rules and even he was behaving like he had no brains :/

    @ Jenny: me from Kondhwa :)

    @ Suruchi: nahi nahi totally understand the problems in a joint family.. but here she was just back from honeymoon yaar .. family start karne ka to time bhi nahi hua.. that is what was more irritating

    @ Purba: hahahahah.. fatter & nastier :D :D

    @ Manu: welcome to SuKupedia :).. ha ab tak to bache ho.. aage dekte hai :D :D

    @ Swati: its been ages i have heard that word 'bindok' :D :D.. yes she was an absolute bindok

    @ CPhaniS: glad u enjoyed it :) :)

  50. I heared about your blog earlier ... "Sukupedia" - Sukun bhari jindagi jine ka encyclopedia.
    I liked you conversation with driver ... First you are teaching him rules and then, he return back your favor :LOL:.

  51. funny...lolzz...i wouldve chatted with her till my destination...such people make you forget the time...!

  52. what a delicious post. I can imagine the scene, very well.
    I read some bodies comment, "mein bach gaya," I would say, bhai, koi nahi bacha aaj tak.

  53. @ Johnny: vow that's a flattering tagline :) :)...ha the driver ofcourse gave me some lessons too :D :D

    @ Hari: I applaud u for ur patience then :D :D

    @ Pramodji: hearing from u after a long time :) :)... itni buri halat sabki nahi hoti na...hoti hai kya ??

  54. hahaha..serves them all right.. :) great blog u have here..

  55. wow.. wonderful conversation... hahaha.. she is soo immatured.. i hope u had a good laugh..

  56. @ phatichar: thx :)

    @ Raniii: i was laughing when i wrote this.. but not when it was really happening.. that moment my tongue was itching badly :D :

  57. Nice one! Made me laugh! And I CAN laugh because I am single! From this one conversation you can see that you witnessed a Joru Ka Ghulam in the making. I wouldn't say poor guy, just an idiot. If you don't understand women, why not wait before you get married...like a 100 years or so?
    That reminds me "There are two types of men in the world, first type who know everything about women, the other type is called husbands."

    BTW, I am wholeheartedly with you on that mobile thing. So many times people don't call them on this behaviour. And kudos on the way you slapped her down even when she was taking your side. Girls like that always think that rules don't apply to them.

    Once again, great post, very entertaining.

  58. A great post! This is the first time I am coming here. Came here from Chintan's blog. I am so happy to hear such things from women. Hats off, ladies! You both rock!

  59. Wow, I can see their relationship is headed for disaster.
    Oh, and lovely response, you shut her right up. Nice post!

  60. @ Sunil: glad u liked the post :) but don't agree with your comment in 1st para.. husbands cannot be generalized into that category

    @ Bhartiraja: welcome to SuKupedia :) glad u liked the post :)

    @ Sumitra: I hope that is not the case and they survive this initial glitch :)

  61. LOL LOL LOL LOL :D Iski dimaak mein kidney hai! 100%
    And the response you gave to SHE, was like *Tapp* on mouth

  62. ha ha ha..could not stop laughing..such women do exist?

  63. @ Sahana: l love that dimaag mein kidney hai heheheheh

    @ Womaninlove: trust me they do :)

  64. Love this post, fir padh li...:P BTW main bacha hun by marrying an intelligent woman, not by avoidance ;-)

  65. am sorry am too late to reply to this post...i jus fumbled upon your blog while i googled something and i am enjoying your posts...and this one was superfun...specially the driver conversation...good work sukupedia


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