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Sunday, January 8, 2012

Wonder Women !!!

I was travelling in an auto rickshaw in Pune.  This happened some 4 years ago.  The auto was nearing a signal and had to slow down.  There came a bike zooming from no-where and brushed past the auto before screeching to a halt at the signal.  But while finding his way next to auto the rider had said something very abusive to the auto  driver.  Friends & family who know me will not be surprised at what happened after that.  I waved my hands to the rider of the bike 

Me:  Sir I need some details can you please help me
Rider:  Yes, I will move to the left come there (since we were admist traffic at the signal)
Me:  Sir, just now when you passed this auto you called the driver 'Madharchod' 
Rider:  What details do you want?
Me:   Meaning of that word...I did not understand...
He could not answer and started fumbling.  Did not even look into my eyes.


Auto Driver:  Let it go didi, its ok maybe he was angry
Me:  Nahi sir, please wait.  
Rider:  Aarey I did not have any place to move my bike.
Me:  But it was not his mistake.  You are the one who came speeding and since you are not telling me the meaning of the word I assume its a bad word.
Rider:  Go, get lost and do your work don't try to be Sati Savitri (till then I thought Sati Savitri was a freedom fighter)
Me:  I will not.  You will fall at this man's feet and apologise.  ( this driver was past his 40s and so was my dad)
Rider:  Aarey if not what will you do?? 
Me:  I will call that Traffic Police and tell him that you are misbehaving with me.
Rider:  You will say and he will believe, is it??
Me:  YES, you wanna check ?
He probably by now realised that I could very well do what I said
Rider to the driver:  Sorry
Driver to me:  Chalo didi, now its ok
Me to Rider:  On his feet

He finally fell at the driver's feet and said sorry.  

As for me, I left that auto, stood there doing some time pass and then took another auto and went home.  What do you think ofcourse I was scared, that this guy would come back.  




Why did I bring it up?? You see what I had done.. I had misused the power that law had given to protect harassed and abused women.  Frankly, I did not realise it then that I had taken advantage of being a woman.  I had the victorious feeling.  Last year a close friend had disclosed that he had lost his previous job because some female employee who after failing to convince him that she loved him, lodged a complaint with the company HR, about my friend harassing her.  Without any further investigation he was asked to leave.  This was probably then for the first time I had realised that what I did was not right.  I could have fought well without threatning that guy the way I did.  On the reality show 'Bigg Boss 5' too we could witness women shouting all the while 'Ek aurat se aise baat karte hai'....and this despite the fact that some female contestants would shower abuses on male contestants.  The most misused law is the Anti-Dowry law.  Any woman can just walk in and file a complaint against her in-laws and husband.  This is ridiculous, especially when I personally know couple of friends still fighting their cases.



So this is what I don't understand.  Why do women need special treatment?  If it is a mark of respect for being a daughter, mom, wife etc., etc., then even men adorn different roles.  I agree that women were harassed, tortured and imposed with unnecessary laws by the male dominated society and it still goes on, but there are sections of society which is free from all this and yet women misuse the law or the gentle treatment phenomenon.  Why do such women think that they can get all their work done with just one look or some sweet talk from some guy?? Use them for bike rides, shopping, taking loans and then keep saying that they are strong... Shouldn't complaints against men be thoroughly examined and questioned?? Is respect only for women and men can be just used as and when they like ?  Are such women making lives difficult for the really troubled ones too??  Above all why do we have gender biased laws????

41 comments:

  1. You know, I've heard stories from friends oh how women use guys for their advantage and then leave them hanging around.
    Blind justice for Women should not be done, now, since the condition of women has improved a lot and there are more people misusing it than actually using it.
    Sometimes when I read about such instances where people take advantage of them being a woman, I feel so sorry for those who end up getting harassed by her/them.

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  2. yeah....suku tum aage bado hum tumahre saath hain!!!
    finally the men have found their leader in you...varshon se chale aa rhe is zulm ke khilaaf awaaz uthaane wali aa gyi :P :P..
    but on a serious note..some laws need to be their to protect women...although its uncommon in upper middle class or the intelligensia...but in the rural india women are still being subjugated to harsh treatment and these laws are required....

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  3. first, bike riders are treated as shit by the general traffic. four wheelers dont acknowledge their presence on road. jaywalkers make merry at their cost too. so i'd like to hear his side of story too.
    abuse is wrong. no doubt. but you think people have the time to abuse rickshawallahs for no reason? rickshawallahs being the "tribe" on the road you cant really pick a fight up with.
    and lastly, IF this was a hypothetical situation of a war of wits.. i might 've said.. well if your gonna call the cops on me for harassment anyhow, i might as well commit the crime.

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  4. Very powerful post...while I was barely over applauding you for what you did for the rickshaw wallah, you took a U-turn!

    it is true that any power given mindlessly and without a system of checks would be misused whether it is in the man's hand or the woman's. women do not need special treatment however the system does....it so needs to be treated!

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  5. I think those who want to screw someone, screw the law. It can be for good and bad. I think we shouldn't twist law but if it is for good, then loopholes should be used. It's sad to know when genuine people are tortured by misusing it.
    Gender biased, what is not, I ask?

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  6. This is the world we live in, and no doubt its a man's world. SO there needs to be special treatment for a woman. Like reservation quotas.
    But a misuse is not as rampant as ill treatment of women. I have been harassed a lot at work, by men, in many ways, but I refuse to take it to the HR(though many a times I am on the verge of), cos I really cant deal with all that extra drama

    But I do agree that there should be a verification of any complains against a man regarding sexual harrasments

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  7. I salute you for what you did with the rider. I also hate people who generously use bad words on road. But, I think, you could have let him off after he apologized and need not have forced him to fall on the driver's feet. Anyways, it's okay. You didn't do it to a decent guy. I am sure he would never use that word again in a public place at least when there are women around. As for misusing your advantage as woman, it's okay because you did it to teach some indecent soul a lesson. But, I really feel very bad when some women do such things just to satisfy their ego. And, yes, the dowry harassment case is the most misused one these days. Almost everyone has seen this happen to someone in their close circle.

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  8. :D I think it was a good lesson taught to the bike rider, he might as well be abusing you right now but who cares. Everyone deserves to be respected.

    As far as women using their gender as a reason to abuse, excuse and exploit, not justified however sometimes it can be the outcome of a defence mechanism too.

    Having said that, there are women who simply use men. Such women use everyone, IMO.

    I do think men tend to make opinions based on such incidents and later disrespect women in general. Gender based laws, err, not too sure about that. I may have to read, research a little.

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  9. Totall agree with you , I think its time to change the law yet again and accuse the real culprit rather then be bised on gender nowadays.

    Before anyone kills me here now :).. i do think some people are taking advantage of the women friendly law now.

    now you using this to your advantage hmm well wrong word advantage as you did this to make a idiot come ot his senses .. so well done to that , a man talking like that needs more than that, A SLAP in the middle of the road .. how can one jsut abuse someone like that .. disgraceful ...

    Bikram's

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  10. I agree..why do we need special treatment??

    Poor men,some of them,get blamed just because they are men!

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  11. well first BRAVO, not many females would do that.about the special treatment, guess things will turn out to be good someday when peopke realize that women give LIFE.no man can EVER do that

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  12. u done a good job....
    several time i think women misusing the respect ......I am a victim to this

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  13. I think I disagree to this to some extent because the ratio of men harassing women is much more than woman harassing a man.. so, still I would say India is male dominated in some sense ofcourse the percentage has been decreased since few decades..

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  14. This is precisely the reason why it is difficult to implement laws in a country like India where everyone interprets to his/ her convenience! Do not forget most women are no where near the position which the fellow female bloggers have reached! Anything done with good intent is however to be applauded!

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  15. @ Ashwini: certainly it is a sad situation when a law is misused

    @ Skywalker: yes I totally agree with you.. laws need to be in place to protect women..but what is the use of a law which is deaf to the other party

    @ Suruchi: you said it all

    @ Saru: yes everything around is gender biased..either it is favour of male or female..nothing is human anymore

    @ Womaninlove: see this is what I said..why do we need laws when women are not going to use it for their protection..while other women misuse it

    @

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  16. @ Bharatiraja: Trust me if I had my way I would have made that guy lick the dust on the road..nobody every escapes me after abusing an elder whether man or woman..but yes I am not proud of using the woman power in that situation

    @ Chintan: yes using these laws as defense mechanism is something that has to be stopped .. perfectly said

    @ Bikram: Welcome to Sukupedia :) yes that is my problem.. misusing the women friendly laws

    @

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  17. @ Pooja: These laws were made to protect women who were not able to protect themselves...but now when I see them misusing it..that's when I think this special treatment is gender biased

    @ Maniac hunter: hopefully someday :)

    @ Jidhu: hope u write about it sometime..or if u already have then could you please share the link with us

    @ Raniii: Yes it is certainly a male dominated society...but if the women want to dominate the society this way then very soon we will have laws which will start protecting men..how can a woman misuse something that has been created to protect her ..this not only gives bad name to the entire female race but also someone with a genuine complaint has to run around for witnesses and proofs then..

    @ Rahul: the first line of your comment I agree...our laws are so weak and left to the interpretation of the society that they are misused more than being used...but the second line I beg to differ.. if the laws are made for poor women who cannot help themselves then why are such women raped in the police stations...

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  18. WOW !! You are among the least found lot of women who I've seen accepting this reality. I say his cuz I lost one of my "chachaji" & his immidiate family to this, by lost I mean dead. Mom, Dad & son all three died because of their bahu ! I was quiet young then but still remember the horror.

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  19. @SuKupedia: one lady blogger send message to all of my friends and blogger group that i am sending porn links and block me everywhere....u know , i lost lots of my best friends in the blogger world with this. i ask to one of my friend that did u receive any porn links from me? , then she replied that she didnt, but she want to unfriend me , since the girl who sending message to all was a strong lady and if any one support to me, she will react with them too. i m really fed up that time and i think its better to delete all my blogs and other social networks.But 2 ladies support me and told me , they didnt receive any porn links from me , they don't want to unfriend me , even the get message from that lady. I recovered from that incident with this ladies.

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  20. such a thought provoking post. i have heard/read of similar simulations of misuse of law/gender. the numbers maybe comparatively less to those of abuse against women, yet there are men who have suffered for no fault whatsoever. and that is really bad
    yeh kaisa insaaf was the perfect pic you put there.


    and btw, that auto indicent: wow i could never do it like u rey. i just couldnt. bravo Sunita! hunterwali hai yar tu. that's the word that came to my mind when i read what you did to dat guy.
    and then loitering around & taking another auto, i just don't have that kind of presence of mind. it is a must to be able to be so aware & alert.

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  21. Suku, just to clarify, it was your good intent that I applauded and not the law which still makes an ass of everyone!Agree, that not only poor but some more vulnerable women get raped unfortunately!

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  22. Really sometimes we over do the women liberation stuff!! But I am with you, for your behavior with that guy.. The method may be wrong.. but you see, they say 'loha lohe ko kathta hain!!!'

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  23. Kudos on getting the speeding motorist to apologize to the auto driver, I wish there was someone like you doling out the same treatment as and when someone hurls abuses or swears.

    Also, the spirit with which you use the law is what is important, not the word to word interpretation. When a certain privileged section of women use it despite being completely at fault, it generally ends up becoming a skewed up see-saw.

    Loved reading this one.

    Cheers :)

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  24. @ manan gujju: well I think u misunderstood this post.. it was not about a war between two wheelers and four wheelers ..it was about one person abusing the other who was the age of his father...secondly i don't think my friend u will hear his side of the story...poor guy must have been embarrassed of what he did na..and last but not the least...HYPOTHETICALLY if u had committed the crime..then u would not have typed this comment..my fav sport is football and I love the free penalty kicks.. hypothetical ha ok..boora mat maan na yaar :D :D

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  25. @ Manu: ghosh man seriously?? must have been really bad for you...

    @ SuJu: u have no idea how mad i can get if someone abuses someone else and that too if its an elderly person...there is no way that i can let it go

    @ Rahul: ha baba i understood that :) & don't worry i can never feel offended by a reader's comment.. i was just putting across my thoughts :) :)

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  26. @ Jenny: kya dialogue hai gal :) :)..where have you been?? btw wish you a very happy new year :) :)

    @ Atrocious Scribblings: welcome to SuKupedia :) :)...skewed up see-saw..precisely it is :) :)

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  27. Are you the wonder woman here or are you wondering what women can do???

    The way you dealt with that guy is superb. And i know only SuKu Chechi is capable of such bold moves. :D

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  28. One of friend said women&men are sufferers in the hands of bad ppl&demanding there should be law for weak men to protect from headstrong women[498-B IPC],why no punishment for women in adultery cases ,but fact is majority of victims are women not men because of cultural conditions of the society ,as on today ,no law to protect men.

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  29. Thank You Thank you :-).. me just been away, but back now :-)) and Happy new years to you too!!!!!

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  30. Interesting! When I read the rider's abuse and your effort to tame him, I was not very impressed. But the way you have concluded is thought provoking. I did not expect. And your reasons and arguments are convincing. Very nice post.

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  31. @ Jane: wonder woman :D :D

    @ M. Ravi: As I was writing this post I was hoping you to comment and throw some light :) :)

    @ Jenny: Thank you :)

    @ Phatichar: What thoughts exactly??

    @ Hariharan: thx :) Me too Sir, I was also not impressed when I realised my mistake :(..

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  32. Okay, firstly, I must say a big Big BIG thank you for writing something like this supporting us poor men... What u said is so so so right!!! Women say they want to be treated equally, then end up using all these weapons to manipulate men (not all women, mind u!)!!! This is so much like the issue of reservations!!! One section thinks it is unfair, while another simply reaps its benefits! When the real women who need the help of these laws from ugly-ass men, are probably still stuck sumwer without knowing what to do!!! Interesting topic.

    But, honestly, though you did misuse it, I do not feel for the bike rider. He was asking for it.

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  33. Err... Touchy subject... Esp when a GUY is commenting on it... U never know what I will say to offend the ladies here. ;) But I totally agree with u... I would like to add that women do require these laws... They cannot be scrapped altogether. But like u said, there has to be strict checking of the credibility of the accusations raised by them!!!

    Nice job actually making that rider touch the autowallah's feet!!! Only WonderSuKu cud do that!!! :)

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  34. A seriously thought provoking post. Loved it!

    Hats off to you! For doing what you did and sharing what you said.

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  35. @ Nikhil: yes u said it right.. just like reservations...but the concern is of people misusing it...

    @ John: yes i totally agree with you.. we cannot do without the laws but credibility is what should be checked...and about the feet thing I just wish I hadn't used the women power funda :)

    @ Soumya: Thank you.. but as i said regret using the women advantage ya :(

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  36. Arre! Wah! SuKupedia itna sundar lag rahi hai. Loved the theme firstly.
    Secondly. Hitler didi.

    Gutsy lady you. Worked out positive in your case. Sometimes such incidents leads to some stupid wrath exchanges ending in mishaps.

    I was crossing my fingers as I read. Happy that it ended well :)

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  37. I liked what you did to the biker. Next time perhaps he won't be that abusive with others. But what you are saying is so true! The laws can be very easily misused by the wrong kind of people..

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  38. @ Sahana: aarey I am usually one bhigi billi but yaar such things gets the sherni out of me.. but what u say is so true.. i was just lucky in this case

    @ Rahul: hopefully he won't..glad u got my point :)

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  39. Trust me when I say this - it destroys the morale of the guy when he gets screwed by such accusations simple because the girl needs to justify her actions. I say this from personal experience. I know there are countless of male a**holes who probably deserve to be castrated or worse for their sins, but think once of the reverse situation - what happens when you try to stand up for the truth and say no and then find the reputation you've built your entire life destroyed by a woman who files fake cases just to appear decent in public. As you said, there are no investigations or anything - just directly a case is lodged and you find yourself on trial both by a court and the public.

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  40. @Dr Roshan I can so relate to what u went through after personally witnessing such issues with some of my male friends

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