I just finished watching 'The Dirty Picture' ...ya ya go on call me a moron...but now is that I got to see it online... :D :D :D... This is not the first time I am seeing a movie on Silk Smitha... There was a Malayalam movie that was made on her... 'Lekhayudae Maranam Oru Flashback'... Back then when I saw it on TV I was a teenager, actually a very judgmental teenager. I was quick to tell my friends, 'Such gals obviously will have this end only'. Little did I realize then that life was much more than the comfortable & secured life that my parents were trying to provide.
Life moved on and somewhere later, I was in a situation where everybody was free to judge me. Every person who was in a better position than me thought it was their right to lecture me how wrongly I was handling my life. Infact these people who poked sugar dipped forks at me were also my so called good friends. Some at my workplace and some whom I knew personally anybody and everybody could never stop themselves from giving me their piece of so called experiential advice. Many words hurt, they hurt so bad that it was then that for the first time that I also realized what 'mental pain' meant. That pain was actual, like you were falling in a pit or something.
All these people with their so called advice neither knew me nor my situation, all that they had seen is the end result and were quick to decide that yes it must have been all my fault. And today it does not matter to me really when they say, they love me and all because it does not make sense. They were my friends, people whom I trusted how come they did not love me as I was and today just because I moved on and with God's Grace I seem to be settled every one seems to care for me. I am sure these same people tomorrow if I go through some other tide in my life will brand me something else or poke fun at me even before my tears would dry.
I have this one very dear friend from Nigeria, she told me once, 'Sunita if you try to fill in the vacuum in your life with different friends all the time the vacuum will always remain, because people can never satisfy your want for love and trust. Fill this vacuum with God's love and that is the only love which will always remain'. The fact that I could pen down each of her word even after years proves that it had a very big impact on me. You know when you are in difficult times the situation is like as though you are a big fat teddy standing at a gate where a big party is going on. Everyone walks past you smiles, passes comments, some poke and then all you do is just stay quite and smile, because you don't know where to complain. And then there are those who look at you and find you adorable and hug you, hold your hand and click pix with you and instead of smiling you feel like crying, crying real hard.
I am out of lot of my problems only because of the advice from this friend. I know if ever again something happens to me like I said earlier, it would be fun time for lot of people around me. But this time I will stand stronger than last time, I know. As a part of this society we may a lot of time come across people who haven't managed their situations all that well, but instead of giving them hope and treating them with respect, shunning them away with your ridiculous behavior is a sin. Take time out to be someone's help, you never know you could change that person's life for better and forever.
Life taught me a lot of lessons, made me go through a lot of practical classes too maybe that is why today when I watched 'The Dirty Picture' I cried a lot at Silk Smitha's condition in the end. There is this scene in the end where she is dressing up to die and going through her past memories when she was a success, I just couldn't control myself there, though not exactly the same but, I was surely in a situation where I was alone recollecting my past, crying all by myself mostly also because I was so tired of faking smiles & laughter all day long in front of my so called well wishers......