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Friday, March 16, 2012

It Does Not Shine Always.....

I just finished watching 'The Dirty Picture' ...ya ya go on call me a moron...but now is that I got to see it online... :D :D :D... This is not the first time I am seeing a movie on Silk Smitha... There was a Malayalam movie that was made on her... 'Lekhayudae Maranam Oru Flashback'... Back then when I saw it on TV I was a teenager, actually a very judgmental teenager.  I was quick to tell my friends, 'Such gals obviously will have this end only'.  Little did I realize then that life was much more than the comfortable & secured life that my parents were trying to provide.  

Life moved on and somewhere later, I was in a situation where everybody was free to judge me.  Every person who was in a better position than me thought it was their right to lecture me how wrongly I was handling my life.  Infact these people who poked sugar dipped forks at me were also my so called good friends. Some at my workplace and some whom I knew personally anybody and everybody could never stop themselves from giving me their piece of so called experiential advice.  Many words hurt, they hurt so bad that it was then that for the first time that I also realized what 'mental pain' meant.  That pain was actual, like you were falling in a pit or something.  

All these people with their so called advice neither knew me nor my situation, all that they had seen is the end result and were quick to decide that yes it must have been all my fault.  And today it does not matter to me really when they say, they love me and all because it does not make sense.  They were my friends, people whom I trusted how come they did not love me as I was and today just because I moved on and with God's Grace I seem to be settled every one seems to care for me.  I am sure these same people tomorrow if I go through some other tide in my life will brand me something else or poke fun at me even before my tears would dry. 

I have this one very dear friend from Nigeria, she told me once, 'Sunita if you try to fill in the vacuum in your life with different friends all the time the vacuum will always remain, because people can never satisfy your want for love and trust.  Fill this vacuum with God's love and that is the only love which will always remain'.  The fact that I could pen down each of her word even after years proves that it had a very big impact on me.  You know when you are in difficult times the situation is like as though you are a big fat teddy standing at a gate where a big party is going on.  Everyone walks past you smiles, passes comments, some poke and then all you do is just stay quite and smile, because you don't know where to complain.  And then there are those who look at you and find you adorable and hug you, hold your hand and click pix with you and instead of smiling you feel like crying, crying real hard.  

I am out of lot of my problems only because of the advice from this friend.  I know if ever again something happens to me like I said earlier, it would be fun time for lot of people around me.  But this time I will stand stronger than last time, I know.  As a part of this society we may a lot of time come across people who haven't managed their situations all that well, but instead of giving them hope and treating them with respect, shunning them away with your ridiculous behavior is a sin.  Take time out to be someone's help, you never know you could change that person's life for better and forever.

Life taught me a lot of lessons, made me go through a lot of practical classes too maybe that is why today when I watched 'The Dirty Picture' I cried a lot at Silk Smitha's condition in the end.  There is this scene in the end where she is dressing up to die and going through her past memories when she was a success, I just couldn't control myself there, though not exactly the same but, I was surely in a situation where I was alone recollecting my past, crying all by myself mostly also because I was so tired of faking smiles & laughter all day long in front of my so called well wishers......


  1. there's a quote from mother Teresa which I'll share with u-

    “If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
    If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; succeed anyway.
    If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.
    If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.
    The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway…
    You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.”

  2. My dear Pinky... I am the 1st one this time to comment on your post. Knowing you personally I will not say more than this that whatever you have gone thru in your personal life is through & let it rest in its grave. You have already moved forward to a new sunshine & a new horizon in your life. Things with which you had a shocking phase in your life were not meant for you, but then it came down to you may be because of the term “Karmabhalam” that we people call. You very rightly said that our society is more bothered about the things that are happening in others life rather than working on the stench coming out of theirs. Be blessed in your life as life is experimental & look at the failures and problems as blessings in disguise. Believe in yourself and in your abilities. The past can't be changed, only your attitude towards it can.

  3. it is a good film , if you watch it from a different angle, life always teaches us lesson.
    nice post,
    its nice to know that there are people other than me who appreciate "the dirty picture"

  4. have seen the times but thankfully ppl around me tried real hard to help me.things didnt end and i am not on talking terms with a lot of them but it was my fault all the way. like you said, there is no point looking for people to fill the void :) life goes on!

  5. yeah i agree about your take on mental pain.. you can fight through it, but the memmory still haunts, and stirs up rather vengeful feelings.
    coincidentally, a few days back, i was praising this movie, on two fronts.. one, the central character's clarity of thought, about what she wants, what the trade offs are, and how "johnny blade who lived by the blade, died by the blade"
    and second was the excellence in film making. vidya balan looks every bit of a naughty girl as she does a fat diva past her prime, the tangy lines she delivers, perverse and naughty, are yet very crisp, never a case of overkill.. which is sooo common in contemporary bollymovies.

    lastly, different people tend to see different things. i see your nigerian friends' advice as.. dont give people so much importance in your life. thats where we go wrong, by thinking that our lives are about the other people in it. i'd tend to see the whole love god part is simple have faith in time and destiny.
    no offense, just my take on it. you know whats strange though.. so many times.. a few sentences.. a coupla hundred words.. said right.. change the course of a lifetime... lifetime bein a void into which millions of words and feelings are poured.

  6. So true..mental pain is something that the person who is experiencing it is the only person who can gauge its intensity. But, yes, we learn to move on, with or without the 'well-wishers'.

  7. Suku, I felt what you felt. Being amongst fake people, I was faking myself, either trying to be like them or trying to put on a happy smile in front of them. I keep crying on my past, but somehow I don't regret it. Those bad times have taught me a good lesson. and somewhere I am glad, I had to go through it, and I came out of it.

    Your friend from Nigerai is an angel. No wonder you still remember her words!

  8. Your friend is so very right. No one can fill the vacuum that people create or we ourselves create, expecting more from others.
    And yes,taking time to help others, would definitely leave an impact on our lives as well as the lives of others!

  9. Moving post..coming here after a long long time..

  10. It takes great levels of wisdom to learn from your mistakes. But only a brave person will be able to face the problems next time. U have reached that position by embracing God's love.. Keep it up SuKu :)

    Btw, i think 'lekhayude maranam oru flash black' is about actress Shobha's suicide.

  11. Anubhavam is the biggest lesson- it has taught you to stand up to the meaningless judgement of others and treat them with contempt. It was unfortunate that you had to go through the situation in the past.
    Quite a moving and emotional post.

  12. @the little princess yes I so agree it is always between you and God.. :)

  13. @Chirag Joshi aare there are lot of people who liked this movie.. for various reasons ofcourse ;)

  14. @manan guju Yes some people just leave such a mark on your life by their words.. that is why we should choose our words carefully.. :)

  15. @Pooja Sridhar yes Poo we do.. it just makes it a little easier if we have good people around us.. :)

  16. @Jenny U r a strong gal Jen.. since u came out of it.. and yes my friend surely is an angel.. :)

  17. @phatichar yes I noticed ur absence :).. but glad u r here now:)

  18. @Jane Doe yes levels surely have changed and I am so thankful to that.. and really I did not know it was on Shobha's life.. I was told it was a Silk Smitha story...

  19. @Hariharan Valady Oh yes Sir, as I always say I am still a student in the University of Life...am still learning :)

  20. This was such a touching post.
    I have given up judging people.
    I have given up trusting them completely either.

    I loved The Dirty picture.

  21. I have not watched the movie, but glad to have read this post...:) I learnt something today. You know I strongly believe that each one's life right from birth to death is clearly laid out as to whats gonna happen to whom and when and how each one gonna live their lives.

    So considering that, forget about judging, we can't even think about judging others.

  22. @ Happy go Lucky: glad u liked it :)

    @ Prashanth: U r so right..birth to death is clearly laid out and here we spend time judging others.. so true


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