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Thursday, August 9, 2012

Ignore - Should I? - My 100th post!!

Image: Google search

This is my 100th post and for the last couple of days I have been thinking of writing on something really special.  So went from topic to topic and then finally decided let me not dedicate this post to anyone but myself, I am worth it after all, ain't I?? :D :D


I have come a long way from writing essays & debates in school to writing articles on public forums.  I think I have improved through the journey, not as much as I wanted to, but yes have learnt to express myself a little more better.  This is not only because of some maturity, but also because of some of my favorite bloggers whom I read regularly, they inspire me to write better each time and not to mention the readers who read my posts & leave comments they are like super energy boosters :) :)

There is one point however I really need to understand and that is  how to deal with negative criticism.  No, I don't think I should call it negative criticism, not that I don't like negative comments on my posts, ofcourse what kind of a writer would not like a honest review, I have received them many times. What I mean is people who leave really offensive and destructive comments.  Initially I used to feel really bad, that someone doesn't like my article or the way I have written it, but then I realised that it is not necessary that everyone in this world should agree with me.  And ofcourse my readers are intelligent beings with their own experiences and opinions.  I then started taking these not in favour comments as sincere opinions and connect them with my article, as a genuine discussion.  That really worked very well, liked the fact that I was getting into meaningful & mature discussions.  

But recently there were different kinds of comments which I really didn't know how to handle.  I did reply to them, but honestly I was not satisfied with the replies I gave them.  I think they should have been more mature, but cannot determine how? Recently an article of mine was published in TOI, this is not the first time an article was in TOI, infact this is my 3rd one, but I got a very good response to this particular one.  One reader commented that 'the article was foolish & rubbish and I was highly uneducated so called writer'.  My immediate feeling was to give him a right tight slap, seriously! but then you cannot always guide your actions by your feelings right?  Another one had mentioned that it was a waste of time to read that article, funny part is that reader then took out the time to write a comment :D :D

I did reply to those comments in the most possible decent manner, the fact that the editor allowed those comments to be published means it was not vulgar or indecent.  But is that it? should I have just ignored those comments.  Should I have just kept silent, and let them say what they thought?  But wouldn't it mean that I am weak and I cannot retaliate?  My MIL doesn't agree with that, she says it just says that you are too classy to fall down to their kind of language.  But easier said than done right?.  Long time back I had tweeted that 'none of the positive messages work when we are actually facing that situation'.  Having said that my MIL handles the grievances and complaints department, and yet she is so happy with her job.  Maybe she has practiced in her life what she preaches me today.  But will I ever reach that level of patience? 

I am just a small little ant trying to crawl its way on public platforms with her writings and these kind of condescending language does make me feel nervous.  Learning to handle them in a calm way or totally ignoring them is going to be really challenging considering my nature to confront anything & everything.  Twitter has been really a learning experience in this matter.  I see so many journalists & writers being thrashed down by words of readers who don't agree with them, but I seldom see them replying back.  But is that because they are already celebrities and these kind of comments don't really bother them.  Is it affecting me more because I have just started?  Also brings my mind to another question, whom am I writing for, myself or others?? But if I am writing for myself then I should just maintain a personal diary right, why share it on a public platform?  Anything you put up publicly is bound to have public reactions right?

What a coincidence! I just logged into my fb account and saw this on my TL " Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.  Whatever they say defines them not you!!".... Guess I should just put it to rest now :) :)


21 comments:

  1. Congratulations Suku. Well about negative criticism, I think the best way is to keep quiet. I read your posts on TOI and remember those comments. The person who wrote 'waste of time' on the Open Letter to my unborn son, I think that is his opinion and he is entitled to one. But that doesn't mean he is right.

    For anyone who wants to be a writer in the true sense of the word, I always say, Learn and Evolve, don't take it to your head and heart. I know people who hate Sidney Sheldon or Chetan Bhagat. Good they have opinion, rest we all know.

    You write from heart and that is your USP, don't ever loose it.

    Cheers on the achievement!

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  2. 1st of all many congratulations on your 100th post i wish you add more n more zeros to that in future....
    and regarding those comments of your readers, well i personally feel that each n every individual has its own way of reflecting on any particular subject or issue, so as a writer one should not get irritated or disheartened if there is any thing which you don't like rather try to handle it modestly as much as possible....moreover your concluding para says all what to do....:)

    BEST WISHES,
    IRFAN.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unfortunately not everyone can be mature and respectful with their comments. When you get a comment that bothers you then you should try to decide if the person has a valid opinion or not. If they do, leave it. If they are just trying to argue with you, post a response indicating your blog is no place to pick a fight and that you won't entertain it. If they use hateful, racist or otherwise ugly language, delete and block them. This is your home on the web, you wouldn't let someone come into your home and treat you disrespectfully so don't let them do it here.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congratulations on your 100th post!

    And no matter what you do or no matter how you write, you'll have your detractors.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Congrats on the 100 posts mark and cheers to many many more.

    Some people make it their only business to put others down and take pride in it, they are certainly not worth our time - I thought the way you handled it by saying he took the time to write a long comment was commendable, that's the way to go :D.

    Cheers :)

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  6. Congratulations Suku on your 100th post.

    Comments are important, they motivate you and urge you to write maturely. But ofcourse this is a virtual world. Somewhere we have to draw the line and get real. How much should these comments actually affect us, and again who are giving these comments? Because to tell you honestly, if someone would disagree with you, but if he/she is a mature person, he/she would word it correctly, and that would mean non offensively.

    About the page being a public domain, however public it may be, you are the owner of it. Somebody you may feel to write for others and someday you feel to write for you. Keep writing for more 100s to come!

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  7. Congrats Suku on your 100th post. You are a wonderful writer, so no matter what anyone says, keep writing. Muuaaaah!

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  8. Congrats on the century Suku! Somewhere I had read that life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. Having said that, I can completely relate to this feeling you have written. And honestly, in my own blog, I have sometimes been tempted to put a comment or two into 'spam'. But then, a mentor very rightly told me that any comment deserves the basic respect of a reply. How we chose to reply determines our values, and you have stuck to yours by giving a decent reply! Well done! P.S. I love what you write.

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  9. Centuryyyyyyyyy :D Hearty congratulations SuKu, and a post about comments!!! hmmm I totally believe that when I write something on internet ofcourse I intended it for others and so I should be very well prepared to receive and reply rightly to all possible review comments and feedback, But never take all those things too much to heart... live it. Daring to pen a sentence itself is such a courageous act and that's the biggest accomplishment forget other things!!! You are a star and so you will always be looked upon!!
    Keep writing :D let many many more such 100s come from you

    ReplyDelete
  10. Congratulations Sunita on your 100th post! The objective of writing is to express oneself. So when is something by way of positive feedback that can result in some improvement then I think it should be taken. But I also find myself unable to deal with some comments - most of them pertain to the issue that I may have written about. People may agree to differ but it does hurt when they state it not so politely. But I have in this blogosphere met a lot of people who are really good in terms of feedback and relating to the issues that I raise. I don't think I would have ever been able to reach out to so many at such a personal level had it not been for this medium. Do keep blogging and hope to read more from you

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  11. Congratulations ! Regarding negative criticism, they are spoilers. They spoil our mood for the day. The best thing is never to respond, but secretly working harder to show them that YOU ARE better than them!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Congratulations on your 100th Post.. Keep going!

    As for the comments, what a person says depend on various factors and most likely two people will not say exactly the same thing about anything.. So, in my opinion there is nothing to be perturbed about it, especially when what is said is not about the subject matter but about the style and the personalities.

    Of course, some negative and harsh comments also help us to remain grounded by showing us that whole world is not in awe of us! Something positive from even those negative comments :)

    Once again all the very best!

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  13. What ever they say defines them, not you........ how true.
    100th post....wow.... I must go back and see how many I did :-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Congratulations. If criticism is rational, genuine opinion or point of view, it is welcome and can lead to a healthy discussion; however, it should not be personal or nasty---certainly not like a street-tough trying to provoke a fight.

    Keep writing; you write well.

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  15. COngrats Suku.Remember everyone has their own opinion and want to share it.Dont let anyone or anything put you down.Its not necessary everyone understands your feelings and agrees with it.WHats important you write from your heart,gives a chance for someone else to undertsand a different standpoint or see the world in your shoes.

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  16. Keep Going :-) Writing not only captures changes, but it brings changes in us ..

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  17. Thank you guys for all your encouraging words :) :) really really appreciate it...

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  18. Congratulations! I am close to reaching that mark soon too! I love the way you write simple and from the heart:)

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  19. Congrats on the century.. It has always been a pleasure to read what you write.

    heres wishing many many more centuriesssssssssssssss :) all the best

    Bikram's

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  20. yeppie.....Congrats for the 1st century.

    Would just like to repeat M.K.Gandhi here
    “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

    So you can see in which stage you are in this lifecycle

    And you have no reason to be bothered about such comments. Rather you should discuss this kind of criticism with friends/family, evaluate how relevant it was and then decide whether to incorporate/keep in mind for future writings or not.

    On second thoughts, I have seen it personally how and how much it affects you. It is WWW – which is truly a world wide “WEB” , so to say. Should these people enter to your daily lives, well well….I will leave it with that thought for you to ponder upon .

    All the best for your future posts… keep on writing, you have a refreshing style which is unique and you are consistent in that irrespective of the variety of topics you choose.

    cheers
    Ritz

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  21. @Ritz: you are a tremendous critical support :) :)thank you :)

    ReplyDelete

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