Day #25 of The Ultimate Blog Challenge... You can read my other posts for the Challenge here :)
Today is SuKupedia's Happy Birthday ♥ and today for the first time I have experienced a power cut in Europe . Suddenly two hours back lights just went off. It is some circuit issued informed the customer service and electricity would be restored any time. But I did not want to take a risk, what if the lights didn't come at all for the day? so I just decided to use the cyber cafe. It's frankly been ages since I have come to a cyber cafe. The last was when I used to sneak out of the house to chat with Ritchie
Today's sin is Anger. We all have something or the else to say about anger, don't we?? In my opinion, anger is really not that bad. It is a perfectly healthy feeling which any human being or animal can go through. But you know what is the difference between a human being and an animal; Animals don't know what to do when they get angry, but human beings are supposed to know how to manage their anger. When a human being does not manage his/her anger and behaves totally out of control, that is when we use terms like 'animal behaviour' don't we?
Why do we get angry is not that important a question really...but what do we do after we get angry is the real question here. This world is not an ideal place and neither are we ever going to be completely satisfied or content with everything that is happening in our lives or around us in the world. So surely we will be angered, irritated and disgusted and that is not in our hands. What is in our hands though is how we can manage our reactions to anger. We will have to start with calmer reactions on purpose. It is not going to happen on it's own. We will have to do it.
I have had my issues with reaction after getting angry. But thanks to God I was able to identify it. I could not work on it all by myself. Here is what I did. Made a list of things and situations that easily triggered me off. Then made a list of past events of such situations and wrote down how I reacted. Then wrote down the consequences of my reaction. What I read was really not pleasant. I then made another list of the same events. This time I wrote down different reactions, opposite to what I had already done. I read it and felt so much at peace and if I had reacted this way, the consequences would have been better too.
Here is what I realised. There are two ways you can react to a situation. One is the obviously easy way which we are used to and the other one would be the harder way, which we have to do on purpose. I shared all this with Ritchie. You cannot handle this by yourself, you need to have a supporter who would hold your hand when you get angry, even if he is the person whom you are angry with. This is really funny actually, even if I was really mad at Ritchie for something, he would quickly say, 'I know you are angry, very angry and you are about to react. But remember the other way that you wanted to react? use that. Come on you can do it'. It worked, not instantly though. In the beginnings I would get more mad, but it's been 3 years now, and I am proud of myself. Still a long way to go, but I know I will get there eventually.
There is one another thing I did. I wrote down situations of my regular fights and arguments and tried to analyse them. I talked and talked about it to Ritchie, figuring out why that person was wrong and all. Then slowly these discussions would turn in favour of understanding that person's lifestyle and problem, and somewhere I started sympathising with them. It really helped a lot. And all this I do alongwith my prayers. I am a believer and I believe that I can do nothing without God. So actually He is the one who is guiding me here and I promise I have never read a single book on anger management
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